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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28749624">The Real Beauty</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Muffingirl/pseuds/Muffingirl'>Muffingirl</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>EXO (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Denial of Feelings, I Don't Even Know, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Jeon Jungkook is Bad at Feelings, Jeon Jungkook is a Little Shit, Misunderstandings, Pack, Pack Dynamics, Self-Esteem Issues, Slice of Life, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Trust Issues, Unplanned Pregnancy, Werewolves, What Have I Done</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 03:35:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>15,706</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28749624</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Muffingirl/pseuds/Muffingirl</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sori had grown up mostly alone and she knew she wan't the funniest person to be around. Her life had been changed without giving her the chance to even realize what was going on, and now she had to face everything alone. Again.</p>
<p>or</p>
<p>In spite of having spent four years in the BTS pack, Sori still feels left out. The fact that everyone seemed to have accepted Minyoung, the newest pack member, so easily was giving her a lot to think about.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jeon Jungkook/Original Female Character(s), Jung Hoseok | J-Hope/Min Yoongi | Suga, Kim Namjoon | RM/Original Female Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>29</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sori was spread out on her bed, reading one of her favourite books. Unfortunately, she was having quite a hard time focusing only on the book, not feeling in the right mood to really follow the plot, but there wasn’t much else she could do since it was raining and the guys went grocery shopping. They’d left her home alone since she wasn’t feeling too good in the morning.</p><p>Would have they stayed home if it was one the born-were ones who was unwell?</p><p>She kept asking herself the same questions over and over again. Well, it was hardly possible for that scenario to happen, since born-weres never fell ill, but still...</p><p>She sighed thinking about that, but then again she knew she liked being alone and having time for herself. Actually, Sori often needed some alone time, which is something quite hard to have in a pack, especially in one with touchy and loud people like hers. Although she knew that she sighed again. From time to time she liked to pity herself a bit. Life hadn't been easy so far, and she didn't have the right personality to fit in the cheerful mess that was her pack. Having grown up mostly on her own, Sori had never learnt how to interact with people, especially with people of her age, and that set of lacking skills weighted her down.</p><p>She knew being negative and thinking the worst things wasn't going to raise her spirits not help her self-esteem, yet here she was again, poisoning herself with worthless thoughts.</p><p>Sori had always felt a bit left out and alone in their pack being the only turned-werewolf in it. Not that they necessarily mistreated her, but turned-weres were seen in a quite negative way from born-weres. It was an old prejudice, but it still seemed to stuck on many people. Although the were considered to be the lesser form, turned-weres were not that different from born-weres. Sure, they were smaller and slightly weaker, even closer to human beings since they could fall ill and healed slowly, but the rest was exactly the same: they had very fine senses, could run for hours without stopping and change just as fast as them. Did this really mean she wasn't as important as the others? What for? It wasn't like in the past. They didn't need to survive merely on their preys, not did they need to works strictly solely for the pack. Almost every wolf had a job, and they also occupied a role in the pack. That was it.</p><p>Nonetheless, the guys had always been nice to her since she officially joined the pack, however there were still moments in which they joked about people like her right in front of Sori, and even thought they meant no offence, it still hurt her a bit. Sori always hid it, she knew she was taking it too personal for no reason, but deep inside her mind those jokes left small, painful scars. She’d also noticed that they weren’t as touchy with her as they were with each other and sometimes it happened that they forgot to include her in their plans. Not that it happened often, actually, not anymore, yet she had cried herself to sleep more than once because of it.</p><p>Sori knew she should just be grateful she was accepted in the pack so quickly instead of being left to fend for herself in a world she barely knew, probably left to die in a couple of weeks, like it often happened to lone wolves, the rogues. Actually she would have had a horrible life if they didn’t accept her in the pack, because women in werewolf society couldn’t be lone wolves unless they wanted to be used as sex slaves or slaves in general. It was even worse with turned-weres such as herself, and while society was changing for the better, the improvement was too slow for her to feel safe on her own. She was very thankful to them, really, but nonetheless she felt lonely at times.</p><p>Despite having been a member of the pack for over three years, Sori almost never felt completely part of it. She knew she was mopping because Minyoung was accepted way faster and was already a real part of the pack in spite of only having arrived a month ago. No one had doubts about letting her in the pack. Just for being a born-werewolf she was trusted in a way Sori had never felt before. Sori felt a pang in her heart thinking about Minyoung, no matter how much she told herself it was useless to be jealous of her, for they’d never be on the same level.</p><p>Maybe what hurt her the most was how easily she caught Jungkook’s heart and attention. Jungkook was the youngest guy in the pack, but he was tall and strong, probably he’d make a good alpha if he ever decided to leave the pack, although it seemed very unlikely to Sori since she knew how much he loved the rest of the guys. He acted childish at times, but he could be mature if needed. Once Jungkook got close with someone he turned into a bubbly and annoying kid despite the quantity of muscles he had. Just not with her. Sori had never had his full attention for herself. Not even when they getting it on in her room: he’d just cum and leave her hanging. She was just an object for him, but that was more than enough for her. And yes, maybe she had been crushing on him for too long and it was high time she just gave up on him and moved on.</p><p>Sori had tried not to care for him, she had tried ignoring him and chatting up other guys, but he never left her head and her heart. Probably it was because of the huge amount of books she read, but Sori had reached the conclusion that Jungkook was her soulmate, her one and only true love for life, albeit he didn't feel them same. Unfortunately, her love was one of those sad and painful loves, those in which one party was dying to give love to one person while the other person was clueless, or careless, and kept hurting the one in love. And it sucked. So freaking much.</p><p>It often happened that when all the other guys were sleeping, Jungkook would step in her room and stay to sleep for the night. Those were nights Sori cherished and hoped to never forget, because when they were talking alone like that, lost in their little bubble, she could call him Kookie, just like the others, and he cuddle with her, joking and just let his mask fall. It was very special to her, because in front of the others he preferred to keep his distance, and clearly disliked Sori using any pet name unless he was in her room. Thus, yes, for Sori then nights they spent together made her feel special.</p><p>When Jungkook was in her room, right before going to sleep, he’d tell her about the things that caught his attention during that day or that week. Sometimes it was a guy with whom he wanted to be friends with, sometimes it was a song he loved or a singer, some other times it was girls he wanted to date or take home if he could. It always hurt, but she was so good at hiding it that he never suspected anything. Or at least that’s what she hoped for.</p><p>However, in the last weeks Jungkook had only spent time in her room to talk about Minyoung: how beautiful she was, funny, sexy, elegant, thin, playful, fast, and whatever else he appreciated about her. Sori could have written with all of the things Jungkook was fascinated by in Minyoung, yet she knew couldn’t complain nor compare herself to Minyoung.</p><p>Sori was quite plain in her looks, nothing that screamed “hey, look at me, ain’t I gorgeous?”. When she wore make up she was a little more than just plain, still she couldn't compare herself to Minyoung or Narae, which was the alpha’s mate and her best friend. She was too shy to joke around like them or to be as expansive and touchy. Sori was a bit chubby, not “fat” like Jungkook often called her, just not as thin as the other two girls. She liked reading a lot. She also liked cooking and going for walks on her own, because when she was alone she could relax and think about her past, how her life could have been had she never been turned, had she never gone out that night, had she still had her parents... She could think freely without having to worry about saying something stupid or embarrassing in front of the others, which would make them laugh at her.</p><p>Actually it was mostly Jungkook who embarrassed her whenever she didn’t know something about their world or simply made a mistake, but the others never stopped him. And although Jimin and Taehyung never let her go to sleep before having apologized for laughing at her, it hurt her pride, but she’d never get really mad at them, because she had to be thankful to the pack for accepting her. It just made it hard to even just ask for help.</p><p>Seokjin, Namjoon and Yoongi always glared at Jungkook when he joked about her, but only one who effectively defended her was Narae. It’d been like that ever since she asked to join the pack. For some reason she had taken Sori under her wings and so far Narae was her only true friend, or at least she was the one she considered her best friend. Hoseok and Minyoung at times smiled at his jokes, but then made sure to clear the air. She really couldn’t say much against their newest member, because Minyoung was really as nice as Jungkook described her.</p><p>Sori hated how childish and butthurt she was acting, yet she couldn’t help it. It was just sad to think she had known them for way longer, she knew everyone’s secrets their, the pack sought comfort in her bed and tried to get her to cuddle them when they were sick, yet she’d never be on the same level as their newest member.</p><p>Everyone liked her, just like they loved Narae. Narae was the mother and the sister of everyone in the pack, she’s their female alpha, someone they could trust no matter what, for they knew she'd always have their back. She was also a born-werewolf. Narae was the reason why Namjoon allowed Sori to stay in the pack in the first place. It took them so long to let her in that she had almost lost her hoped and was starting to guess when she would be kicked out of the pack. To this day, it still was one of her biggest worries, thus she always tried to be on her best behaviour. Sori couldn't even phantom falling so easily in line with such a big group of people the way Minyoung did. It had even happened before that some other pack made fun of BTS for having her as a member of the pack, yet Sori could only feel ashamed but not correct her ways. Actually, she couldn't pinpoint just what it was that made her such an easy target.</p><p>BTS pack was one of the strongest, oldest and most famous packs, and even though the rarely got involved with other packs, they had lots of allies. Sori felt so sorry to them for being the reason why people made fun of them, and that made easy for her to follow Jungkook's instructions to hide in her room when someone important came here to meet Namjoon. Namjoon eventually found out and forbid her to do so, and Sori could remember the alpha telling her right in front of Jungkook that whoever looked down on them because they had a turned-werewolf in the pack didn’t deserve to be their friend, let alone their guest. Narae and Jin supported his statement, and that was one of Sori's fondest memories, albeit she still wanted to keep hiding in her room when there were guests. At times she wondered if their were to leave these lands and go live in a bigger city later on, what it would feel like for her to meet more turned-weres.</p><p>Jungkook was right though, people like her should do all they can to avoid bringing shame on the leader and the pack that gave them a house. Sometimes she felt like crying, because she really wanted to be like everyone else, it wasn't like she had chosen to live this way nor had she had the chance to even refuse being turned, so why did she have to pay such a big price for something she had no responsibility over? Being different it’s not a bad thing, they said, but she always argued that it was extremely tiring nonetheless. Sure, there were many packs with turned-weres in Seoul, but in their town, or better there and in the lands around them, Sori had never seen another pack with a turned-werewolf. Mostly these packs were formed by old wolfs,while in the city it could be easier for her to just accidentally meet a younger pack, more open-minded who actually allowed turned-weres to live with them without it being an hindrance.</p><p>Lately the guys had taken up the habit of standing close to her and keeping an eye on her when they had guests over, just close enough to force her to attend their meetings, and the few times Sori managed to hide away anyway at night, without saying anything, the guys would go to sleep in her room. This usually happened with the older members of the pack and Narae, but it was more scarce with the youngers, except Jungkook.</p><p>Although, Jungkook was really a good guy, he was born and raised in a pack, or better in a society, that saw turned-werewolves as nothing more than scum, low-life trying to get into the power circles of superior beings, and at this point Sori was almost certain he would never be able to change him mind. From time to time she found herself thinking she could put up with his weird views about people like her if only he didn't voice them in front of the rest of the pack or in front of strangers. Or maybe it was because everyone spoiled him and he liked being the centre of everyone’s attention, probably because he was totally used to it thanks to his family and the pack, and he knew for sure they’d pay attention to him if he said certain things.</p><p>Sori couldn’t really bring herself to ignore him and his comments about her and people like her. As much as she said she wasn’t bothered and she didn’t care, it still hurt her. She couldn’t justify him completely, because although he was older than her (and werewolves live for way longer that humans) and she knew people’s mind couldn’t change from night to day, the other guys were even older than him and nobody treated that way. Maybe they didn’t always behave like she was one of them, but he was absolutely the worse. Or maybe the others pitied her because they knew about her feelings for Jungkook.</p><p>Knowing she wouldn't be able to focus on the book now, Sori went downstairs and wrote a note for the guys, so they wouldn’t worry if they came back home to an empty house. Despite feeling tired and nauseous in the morning, Sori changed to her wolf form and started running at her full speed. She loved to feel her paws scratching the ground, leaving paw prints behind her, following scents and running until she couldn’t breathe anymore.</p><p>In the beginning, it took her a while to get used to this and accept the fact that hating the wolf was useless, going back to being a normal human was impossible. When she finally accepted the way her life had drastically changer forever, Sori also started loving the wolf. Her wolf. It was amazing how different things were when she was human and when she was a wolf.</p><p>Mostly her feelings were the same in her two forms, but at times it happened that her wolf didn’t agree with some of her decisions and then she could feel the contrasting opinions crashing in her mind, and if they didn’t reach a compromise soon, she’d get a migraine. At times her wolf's emotions were easier to deal with, not always pleasant, but it was easier to just give in to her instincts rather the let brain point out all the negative things she noticed day by day-</p><p>To be completely honest, Sori loved her wolf form the most as of lately. No one cares about your body when your completely covered in fur, no one asks questions you don’t have answers to, and no one expects you to answer. She felt like she was free in this form...or something quite close to it.</p><p>She ran, light on her paws, until she reached the town, then Sori made her way back home going through the borders of the pack lands lands she hadn’t passed before. It took her a while, the sun was slowly going down as she passed tree after tree. By the time she got home the rest of the pack had arrived, so she opted to pressing the bell with her nose and waiting for someone to open the door instead of changing back. It was Jin who opened the door, and fortunately he decided to skip the interrogatory and stepped aside to let Sori in. Sori briefly nosed his knew before she went back to her room. While she was locking the door, Sori also caught a sight of Jungkook lying shirtless on his bed, as his room was right in front of hers. She locked the door before she got caught staring and finally changed back to her human form. She did a little bit of stretching to relax herself before she went to take a shower. It wasn't like she didn't know someone was about to step in her room to question her about her little runaway, thus she knew she had to be quick with the shower.</p><p>Just as she had anticipated, as she was drying her hair with a towel someone knocked on the door before opening it, not even bothering with waiting for an answer. Sori always made sure to dress up quickly after she took a shower because she knew her pack couldn't care less for privacy. For wolves going around naked wasn't a big deal and they grew up without seeing anything wrong with being naked around strangers, but for Sori it was a completely different story. Sure, she knew they had all grown up changing into wolves whenever they wanted from a very young age and no type of clothes could survive the changing, so to avoid ruining too many pieces of clothing people simply opted to stay naked, but for her who had been raised as a very boring, normal human it was uncomfortable. In the past years it had rubbed on her too, or better, she had learnt to be lass ashamed around her pack, but that didn't mean she didn't want some privacy.</p><p>“Sori, Jin hyung wants to know what you want to eat. He said today we're eating whatever you want, so please say you want fries”, Jimin said with a cheeky smile. Jimin could have been cuter had he not been annoying.</p><p>“Why?”, Sory asked a bit perplexed.</p><p>“Because you were sick this morning, so he obviously wants to make sure you eat something”, Jimin replied frowning, sounding very much like an unspoken “duh”. “But me, Tae and Kookie really want to eat fries, so can you want them too? At least say you don't want to eat spinach, I'm begging you”</p><p>“Oh”, she said sounding a bit stupid. At times like this Sori felt like she was really part of the pack. “Okay? Uhm... I don't really feel like eating fries, so maybe you can tell him I want an hamburger? Is that fine with you?”. God, her social skills still sucked after all these years.</p><p>“Uhm, fine, I'll tell him you want hamburgers and fries”. Satisfied with the outcome of his little mission, Jimin finally left after having winked at her with both his eyes. He still hadn't learnt how to do it properly, but he liked to try doing it when he felt no one would make fun of him.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It hadn't been that long since they had lunch, yet Sori was craving for dark chocolate already, her mouth salivating just at the thought. The problem was that she didn’t want Jungkook to notice she was sneaking downstairs to grab some just to make fun of her for being fat afterwards, and there was no way he wouldn’t notice a square missing from the chocolate bar if he were to check. Sori had tried to talk herself into eating something else or, even better, nothing at all, but she felt like she’d die if she didn’t eat it soon, so she tiptoed in the kitchen as quickly and silently as she could manage. She took the chocolate and ate it as fast as she could while looking around her suspiciously. The house was quiet, maybe even too quiet for her liking. It was almost time for Jungkook to come home, albeit it was still a bit early, thus she had to be careful around snacks and food.</p><p>Just as she was munching happily, Sori remembered that it had been almost a month since the last time she had baked muffins. She usually baked them quite often because Jungkook loved them and since his favourites were the dark chocolate ones, her favourite too, it made an amazing cover to hide the fact that she ate his chocolate... not that a 21 year old needed to justify what she eats, but whatever. Since it’d been a while, Sori thought that she could do that instead of going out for her usual run.</p><p>Sori paced around here and there in the kitchen, grabbing all the tool and the ingredients she need, and in the mean while she imagine what it would have been like to bake together with the man she loved, maybe even someone she could call her husband. She giggled at the idea, knowing well she was acting silly, but since fantasizing didn't hurt... at least as long as no one found out about it... Well, in the end she was baking them for a man she loved. Just not her boyfriend. Or anything at all.</p><p>A tiny voice in Sori's mind was telling her not to get her hopes too high, because there was no way Jungkook would have finally recognized her skills and complimented her, yet Sori wanted to believe he would have. For once Jungkook could at least compliment her instead of praising Minyoung even just for having eaten everything she had on her plate and still keeping a nice body. Duh. Minyoung, being a born-werewolf, had not the tiniest problem with keeping her shape. Moreover, it was not like by recognizing Sori had some talent he was declaring his love or something in front of the whole pack. Just for once Sori really wanted to hear him praising her in front of Minyoung instead of the other way around. Just because.</p><p>When she was done, Sori set the timer and washed the tools, just relaxing before she had to take the muffins out of the oven. Seeing that she still had to wait for a while, Sori decided to bring her laptop in the kitchen, so that she could keep an eye both on the oven and on the last episode of the anime she was watching. She had picked a funny and easy anime, just perfect for the times when she had too much to think about and too little will to actually focus on anything.</p><p>From time to time Sori checked the time, making sure the muffins would be ready before Jungkook got home, knowing he liked to eat sweet things as a way to rest after his working day was done. It was quite stupid in Sori's opinion, because usually as soon as he was done eating Jungkook changed in his wolf form or just hit the pack's gym, but whatever, who was she to judge other people's weird habits, right?</p><p>Just as she had hoped, the muffins were ready five minutes before the time Jungkook usually got home. Clumsy as ever, there was no way Sori could have managed to take the muffins out of the over without burning herself at least a little. Thankfully this time it was only one finger and she probably wouldn't have to dress the burning. Not that she would have had the time to do it at the moment. If there was one thing she had learnt from having spent four years in this pack was that everyone had a sweet tooth and if you weren't quick enough to grab your share of food before the rest was done eating, than you would be left with no dessert. She was running out of time, and she still had to grab a muffin for her and Hoseok and Sori could hear Taehyung's excited stomping coming from the stairs. She grabbed two muffins in a flash and shoved them inside the cupboard making a mental note to bring them to her room later on, saving one for her and one for Narae. Now that the hardest part was done, Sori could slow down a little as she plated the rest of the muffins in a cute way despite knowing that no one would even noticed it in the rush of the moment. It only took Jimin and Taehyung a moment more to appear in the kitchen sporting matching grins on their faces. No way this time she would have let them get to her.</p><p>Had it not been the possible cause of a new fight, Sori would have found it comical how they stepped from side to side to try and find a way to get to the muffins before everyone else. But, yeah, no way she was going to allow them to get their dirty hands on her muffins this time. The last time it had caused a week long fight and she was not up to that kind of stress again if she could easily avoid it by just standing there. Also, if anyone had the right to eat before anyone else that would have been her, who was the slowest eater in the pack. Usually, by the time she was done eating, the rest had left already with some exceptions now and then from the members of the pack who wanted to keep her company or just chat calmly.</p><p>The battle lasted a couple of minutes before they finally stopped and resorting to using words.</p><p>“C’mon, Sori, give me just one”, Taehyung begged while kneeling in front of her.</p><p>“Yeah, Sori, we’re hungry! We need to grow more”, Jimin said while shaking his body.</p><p>“I don't think that's how it works, Jiminie. How many cases of people suddenly growing taller after having had a couple of muffins?”, Taehyung joked, “It's time to accept you won’t grow anymore, buuuut”, Taehyung dragged the vowel, pretending not to have seen the glare Jimin was sending his way, “we can still count on our right as older pack members. We have a right to those muffins also because we came down way before the others”, he reasoned.</p><p>Just as Sori was starting to worry she wouldn't have been able to defend the muffins from those two, Yoongi and Namjoon started making their way downstairs. Finally Sori could let her guard down and sigh in relief. Now it was their duty to make sure everyone got to eat at least one muffin.</p><p>Unfortunately the calm and peaceful atmosphere only lasted for a couple of seconds, then Jungkook opened the front door and the race for the muffing started. Sori barely managed to hear him sniffing the sweet scent that permeated the house before he rushed to the kitchen and grabbed two muffins. Same as usual.</p><p>
  <em>Pigs.</em>
</p><p>It didn't take long for them to start eating as if they hadn’t eaten in years, not even bothering to munch their food with their mouths closed. Sori silently left the kitchen, knowing well that staying there for too long was like asking for Jungkook to mock her. She had made sure to hide two muffins, so she had no reason to stay and take part in the fight. She trusted the fact that the screams of the fight that was going on would be enough to cover up the sound of her steps, and it would also distract them enough to make sure they wouldn't try and steal the muffins she had saved for the others.</p><p>It was a while later, when the house was quieter, that Sori decided it was safe to leave her room and go eat her own muffin. It was close enough to dinner time to use her hunger as an excuse, anyway. The guys were still in the kitchen, spread around the room, talking lively and drinking. The room seemed calm enough for Sori to follow up with her plan although Jungkook was still there. Unfortunately, before she could even reach the cupboard, Sori noticed and empty plate, the same one she had used to hide the muffins in the cupboard. As childish as it was, Sori felt her eyes prickling a little at the sight.</p><p>“Sori, you ate at least one...right?”, Yoongi said and he munched on his last piece of muffin. Soon all the eyes of those present in the room were on her. Namjoon gulped the piece of muffin he was chewing, the last bite of the last muffin he’d grabbed from the basket, and guiltily glanced at her.</p><p>“Tell me you ate yours before we arrived”, Namjoon said.</p><p>“Ok, I ate them before you arrived”, Sori said with a small smile. The list she could do was to look less pathetic than she actually felt.</p><p>“Really?”, Namjoon said, his expression brightening up.</p><p>“Nope”, she replied.</p><p>“Oh. Oh, gosh, I’m so sorry, why didn’t you tell us to stop? We would have left you at least one!”, the alpha said whining. “Now I have to feel guilty. You know how much we love your muffins! You should have said something...”, he complained.</p><p>It was true, they liked her muffins even better than Jin’s, which was something Sori was truly proud of, since Jin was a chef. It was funny how often he got annoyed by this tiny little fact, still Sori didn't deny it. It was good to have just one thing in which she was the best.</p><p>“Well, as you can all see she doesn’t need to eat more, right? No need to feel bad. I’m afraid she’ll have problems walking through the doors if she gets any fatter.”, Jungkook intervened before she could replay to Namjoon’s statement. “If she was dumb enough not to take one before we got here, than the joke's on her”, he shrugged. Sori could only hope the ground would swallow her and put an end to her suffering. This was exactly what she had been trying to avoid.</p><p>Silence fell into the room. No one dared to say anything, not wanting to start a new fight. She could feel the eyes of the guys on her, yet they all kept quiet, and Sori didn't feel brave enough to raise her head and meet their eyes... in the end it wasn't like she hadn't heard things like that before. The smirk on Jungkook’s face only darken a little when Narae's loud steps could be heard coming towards the kitchen. She must have heard Jungkook’s statement, which would have only meant another fight was about to happen in the house because of Sori.</p><p>And, just as Sori had predicted, Narae’s cheeks were red with anger as she appeared in the kitchen. Not only had they taken all the muffins without waiting for her, but she had also heard Jungkook’s slurs. No way a fight wasn't about to happen, and Sori knew she would be the one to be blamed for it. Sure, not by everyone, but she would eventually notice the typical glares in her direction.</p><p>“Jungkook, do you want me to order you to lick the toilet again?”, she growled. And all of them knew she would and she could do it since she’s the female alpha. It actually was one of the best memories of the pack. It never failed to bring laughters in the pack whenever someone brought it up again, although it happened two years ago. That was THE punishment, and Jungkook completely deserved since it he’d said they could sell Sori for sex for some hours a day, so that they didn’t have to work anymore and she could pay them back for the money the pack had to spend to feed her. He’d also added that it was tiring to work to buy groceries, when the person who ate the most was at home, relaxing and lying down, and then Jungkook had said that she wouldn’t mind since people like her were only useful like that. It was a well-known fact that turned-werewolves had been slaved and used as sex slaves for centuries before the government decided to bring the situation under control, as the number of attacks on humans had been increasing too much in certain areas where big pack resided, and people were starting to realise something was up. There had been multiple times when Sori had wondered whether Jungkook thought of her that way when they were having sex too.</p><p>Jungkook’s eyes were wide opened as he took a step back to get away from Narae. The others snickered, and Sori used that moment to leave the room mostly unnoticed. She just went to her room and hid pathetically under her comforter. At times like this she hated Jungkook to the point it felt hard to breathe when he was around, however she loved him too much to just move on with her life.</p><p>
  <em>Why does he keep saying things like that to me? What did I do to him?</em>
</p><p>Sori really couldn’t think of a reason for him to treat her like that. So what if she was fat? So what if she liked to eat things she shouldn’t? Was that a good reason for him to humiliate her in front of everyone? Why does he care that much about her body if she doesn’t mind weighting a little more than she should? Why can’t he say something nice to her for once? Why did he become so mean lately? For once, just one time, Sori wanted to be praised by him in front of everyone, and once again she obtained the exact opposite. She wanted just attention, even just for a minute. At least, if he really didn't feel like saying anything positive to her, couldn't he leave her alone? Don't they say that if you have nothing positive to sat, than it's better not to say anything at all?</p><p>Sori looked straight at her reflection in the full length mirror in front of her. She was plain, but she wasn’t ugly. She was chubby, yet she wasn’t an elephant. Sori touched the areas of her body she’d like to change. Her hips were a bit too wide, and her thighs too thick. Looking at her arms, Sori couldn't deny she would have looked a little bit better if she went on a diet, but for whom would she do it? For herself? For Jungkook? Yes, maybe if she lost some weight he’d like her more. As Sori observed how full her cheeks were, she thought for hundredth time that she didn’t mind seeing them like that. Actually Sori liked her chubby cheeks. She carefully avoided her own gaze in the mirror thought. She really hated seeing her eyes staring back at hers trough her reflection.</p><p>She let out a deep sigh and took some comfy clothes to change into. They were long yoga pants and a very baggy shirt, so that none of her fat belly and ass would show. Actually, that was Sori’s favourite shirt to were when her period was about to come, but she was sure it’d do for that day too. Thinking about her period, Sori made a mental note to check on the calendar in which day she had to expect her period.</p><p>After having changed into those clothes, Sori threw herself on the bed again and stared at the ceiling. She really wished she was a born-werewolf. Born-werewolves don’t get fat. Born-werewolves don’t get chubby no matter how much they eat. They all have the well-built kind of body, like someone who hits the gym at least three or four times a week. Sori envied both Narae and Minyoung. She wanted to be like them. But deep inside her she knew she only said that because Jungkook always made it clear to her that he liked skinny girls. What was weird was that he’d go to her anyways whenever he needed his release even thought often he could have gotten a better girl just by going out for one hour, but whenever the others were around he would turn into a mean and arrogant person.</p><p>Sori despised herself. When she was human she was thinner, at least. Her mother never had the time to teach her how to cook, so she went on eating whatever she found in the fridge, but now she had a completely different life style. Now she knew how to cook, having used her spare time to learn some new skills, and had become a little bit chubbier. In spite of being aware of her weight gain, Sori didn’t really mind it unless someone pointed it out, as if she was stealing the food right from their plate. She had also lost some weight in the last couple of months, albeit nobody seemed to notice. How funny it was that as soon as you gained a little weight everyone felt entitle to point it out, just to pretend you were always the same if you managed to lose a little weight.</p><p>Sori regretted leaving her laptop downstairs. At least, if she had it with her, she could watch something cute or funny and get some distraction, instead she had to stay locked up in her room even though she had done nothing wrong, and she had nothing to do, aside from overthinking the usual things and wait for the fight downstairs to end.</p><p>Her mental rambles were interrupted by some light knocks on her door.</p><p> </p><p>As soon as Narae left the room, Namjoon turned to Jungkook and shook his head.</p><p>“You should really learn when to shut that useless mouth of yours. And you absolutely should learn to shut up when the situation is uncalled for and no one asked your opinion. You should just shut the fuck up in general, to be honest. Had you said those things to me, I’d have punched you. Be thankful Sori’s nice to you”. That being said, Namjoon left the room muttering something barely understandable under his breath, along the lines of “...thinks that makes him look cooler...”, or something.</p><p>Yoongi was about to leave the room too, but the he suddenly stopped and turned to the maknae again.</p><p>“I just wanted to let you know you’re the dumbest and most useless human being in this pack. If you don’t want her and dislike her just stop going to her all the time”.</p><p>Jungkook didn’t even have the time to reply as Yoongi was gone right after saying that. He's cheeks warmed up and Jungkook immediately felt the need to defend himself and leave the room. How could his hyung embarrass him like that in front of the whole pack? He felt ashamed, but also a bit enraged. Why did they all take the defences of someone like Sori? She was one of the lowest members of the society. She’s fat. He came from a rich, pure blood linage. They should treat him better. Jungkook told himself the day Sori would betray the pack like all those like her do, and then the pack would have to recognize he was right from day one about her. Turned-werewolves were all the same.</p><p> </p><p>“You know what he said is not true, right?”, said Narae. Her head was resting on her best friends chest. Her bright red hair tickling the skin of her friend’s chin and cheeks, head raising slightly with every breath Sori took. In the sun her hair always looked a little bit brighter than it actually was, but it was still very pretty.</p><p>Sori hummed. She knew it... but did she really? What if she really went on a diet? Doing it only because she wanted to be appreciated and liked by someone didn’t seem like a reason legit enough to change herself when he didn’t even dislike herself that much. There were time in which she wished she was thinner, but almost all of them followed some comment made by Jungkook or listening his rants about the girls he liked. She was just tired of trying to get him to like, or at least to fill in more into his “idea girl type” without ever getting the result she hoped for, but she also knew she wouldn’t and couldn't stop just yet. She was convinced she could get Jungkook to like her somehow, because if he really disliked her that much, then why would he go to her whenever he needed someone to talk to? Sori had a feeling there was something more to it.</p><p>“No, really, Sori, no one thinks about you that way! Trust me”, she continued. Narae’s hand was caressing her friend’s arm, while her other hand was gripping tightly her friend’s one. She wanted to kill that guy for talking like that about her best friend, whose self-esteem was already non-existent. Narae had already advised Sori to leave Jungkook behind and start looking for someone knew, and albeit Sori promised again and again she would do it, Narae had realized that she was hurt and annoyed by her comments. In the end she took a step back and decided to let Sori do as she pleased, even when the consequences of her actions would hurt her, because as long as she didn't make that decision for herself, Sori would only believe Narae didn't trust her with her own life and her own decisions. It was sad to see Sori this demoralized, still Narae knew these were all necessary steps for Sori to be able to pick up her pieces and grow stronger. Not today, but someday all that pain would pay her back.</p><p>Sori waited a moment before she spoke. She was collecting her thoughts and trying to put them in order so that she wouldn’t make her friend worry with what she wanted to say.</p><p>“It’s not like I don’t believe you, but...maybe if I were thinner he’d stop acting like this. Or I don’t know...it’s not like the others butted in to defend me. Actually, they never do. Maybe they share his opinion but they don’t know how to voice it out loud”. Sori’s eyebrows raised, taking in consideration that possibility. “Maybe I could tell to shut up, but... I mean, I can't really think of anything I can say to defend myself when he embarrasses me in front of everyone...”, the girl murmured.</p><p>“I can’t believe you! They were just speechless because of the way he attacked you out of nowhere! Not to mention that he acted like a douche for no reason! He went from chatting happily to being rude in no time! No one expected it, so no one knew what to say!”, Narae told her while lifting her head to meet her friend’s eyes. “It's not that normal to say such mean things without a specific reason to. He was eating and then what? Where you stealing his food? Did you hurt him in anyway? No! We were all just as surprised, don't mistake their opinion's with Jungkook’s asshole-ish behaviour!”. Would it be useful to let Sori know multiple people had defended her, albeit never in front of her?</p><p>“Yeah, I don’t know… maybe I’m over-thinking. It’s just that it’s not the first time he insults me and no one goes against him or what he said. I just... feel like I should give the pack the best of me and show those who come from outside, or just our guests, that I’m in a good shape, you know... to show them I'm really thankful to you. Getting thinner and working on myself would make me look less...at ease, I guess… as if I’m working hard to deserve and keep my position on the pack, you know? I'd like to do that, but thinking that my life from now on should be like that for something I didn’t even chose to become… it tires me. I want to do my best to demonstrate how much I appreciated what you did for me, but I’d like to be myself too. I...”, Sori’s voice faded in the silence of the room, not wanting to add any more of what she’d been thinking in these past few years. She was scared her friend would reveal it to someone else and that she’d look weak.</p><p>Narae lifted her head completely from Sori’s chest and frowned.</p><p>“Sori, you need to stop thinking about yourself this way You don’t have to be thankful for anything at all. We accepted you in the pack because we wanted to. You’re part of this pack as much as I am, don’t ever think something different, okay? You have to be yourself. We accepted you as a member of this pack knowing what you are and wanting to know who you are. If anyone ever dares to say something different come to me and tell me. I’ll make sure to put them in their place.”</p><p>Sori nodded, but in her heart she knew they’ll never be the same in the pack or in the society. She was just different and less important, and she wouldn’t be able to change that no matter how hard she tried. And she was perfectly aware she had only been accepted in the pack because Narae had pushed for her to stay, and her vote as the female alpha mattered more than the others. Sure, had they all disagreed, in the end her vote would have been useless, as much as Namjoon's, still... Sori had learnt the truth the hard way not long after she had received her spot in the pack.</p><p>“Anyway, I knew they’d eat like that, so I tried to save some for those who weren't there, but unfortunately they ate each and every single one of them”, Sori complained. She felt uncomfortable knowing her friends wouldn't get the change to eat at least one muffins. It sort of seemed like it was her fault, and she tried hard to make sure she was fair with everyone, but when things like that happened... it was difficult for her to accept that her hard work had gone down the drain.</p><p>“I know, don't worry. Next time I'll be the one making sure they can't take even step in the kitchen. Fuck those assholes”. Narae scoffed.</p><p> </p><p>“Sooooriiiiiiii”. The girl could hear the annoying sound nearing her room and she hid her face in the pillow, begging all the gods above to not let her door open. Just for today.</p><p>
  <em>Please, don’t come in. Please, don’t come in.</em>
</p><p>Though luck.</p><p>“Soooooriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii”, Hoseok’s shrills were piercing her ears. He hadn't even said anything, yet Sori felt really tired again. Hoseok was generally very sweet and well aware of the moods around him, however he was also terribly annoyingly loud and once he decided he wanted to cuddle, he’d stick to you like glue. “I heard you baked muuuuffffinssssss”. He was crouching right in front of her pillow. Sori did her best to ignore him. He also liked to pretend nothing was wrong, so that he didn't have to feel guilty about his behaviour. “Did you hide mine again?”, he said excitedly.<br/>Oh... ops</p><p>
  <em>I guess they decided to spare themselves this pile of shit... well, guess what? I'm sending it right back at you</em>
</p><p>“I'm sorry, Hobi. I hid a couple of them, but the other found them and ate those too...”, she half-complained. Honestly? Yes, she was annoyed she didn't get to eat even just one muffin, but it annoyed her even more to know both Narae and Hoseok wouldn't get to taste them. That being said, talking and thinking about the muffins made her remember Jungkook and his words, thus Sori didn't feel that guilty she barely gave him a half-assed reply.</p><p>Hoseok's happy expression fell, leaving room to an annoyed pout and a long sigh. He knew Sori had tried her best, but it had been all useless, so it was no use complaining about the muffins more. Not with Sori at least. Someone else would hear him rage, and he would make sure to make his point clear right after he'll have deemed Sori all better.</p><p>“I also heard something unpleasant happened today”, he said softly. He nosed her neck and rubbed his cheek on her arm. She nodded and he hummed in response. Hoseok was always quite open with his affection, and whenever Sori was down he liked to mark her lightly with his scent to let her know he had her back. They cuddle like this for a while, without talking.</p><p>“C’mon Sori, let’s go eat something and play. I bet you didn't get the chance to eat one of your muffins”, he said gently while lifting her up. She whined at the loss of warmth. He chuckled on lifted her bridal style before making his way to the kitchen. Oh, well, Sori thought, I might as well let him do as he pleases, at least I won't be responsible for what I'll eat of if my presence will annoy the others.</p><p>Around the kitchen table there were all the other members of the pack. Sori really didn’t feel hungry, but as soon as she saw Jungkook there her nausea doubled. Jin gave her a meaningful look and filled her plate, but the smell of food made her a bit dizzy. She started taking deep breaths with her mouth open, praying with all her might for the dinner to end uneventfully. Namjoon, who was sitting next to her, noticed it, and took her hand in his, probably thinking she was having a panic attack or something from having to stay in the same room as Jungkook. For an alpha, Namjoon was extremely tactful and gentle, especially with her. He was one of the few people Sori always respected and liked because he never forced his opinion on others, and he always made sure to show he respected the members of his pack. Also, if he accidentally hurt someone, be it with words or with his clumsiness, Namjoon always made sure to do as much as he could to make it right again. Like a spell, the anxiety washed away and Sori was filled with calm, maybe this was the famous power of the alpha, she reasoned. The nausea didn’t go away completely, though, thus she stuck to shallow breaths as far from the table as she could get without being too obvious. After a while, and some glares later, Sori decided to try and eat something, but after a mouthful or two, but she was already feeling full. Feeling eyes on her, she pretended she didn’t notice and kept her gaze low.</p><p>The dinner was unusually quiet. Sori knew it was because of the fight from earlier in the evening, however she didn't know how to lift the mood of the pack. She was never one to talk a lot, and now that it was her fault everyone was lost in their thoughts and upset, she couldn't do much aside from feeling guilty,</p><p>Jungkook left the room right after finishing his meal. Jimin and Taehyung looked at each other before turning to Sori and giving her a small smile, non-verbally telling her they were angry with her. A moment later they left the room to go upstairs, probably to Jungkook’s room.</p><p>“Sori, you should eat. Really, you're making me feel uncomfortable by staring at your hands while I eat as if I hadn't seen food in years”, Seokjin complained.</p><p>“Mmm, it’s not like I don’t want to eat, but I was feeling a bit nauseous earlier, so I decided to wait until the nausea goes away before I eat some more”, she mumbled, “feel free to leave, I'll wait here and then I'll come upstairs too”. It would have been better if he just left, or better if they all left and she was free to eat without them checking her intakes or something. If Sori had learnt something ever since she had joined the pack, it was that no matter how little she ate in comparison to rest, it was always too much, because her stomach always turned round and huge. Totally embarrassing, especially if she compared herself to the other girls in the pack.</p><p>Namjoon met Seokjin's eyes and shook his head, but Seokjin didn't even need to check with him. He had already made up him mind.</p><p>“Don't worry Sori, take your time, we will wait for you”, he told with a gentle smile on his face.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sori turned again in the warm sheets of her bed. She was all warm and cozy, bathing in Jungkook’s scent that still lingered on the bed after the previous night. His side of the bed had now gone cold, but his scent lingered in her room, allowing her to think he was still there and she was cared for.</p><p>The sun was going up in the sky. Sori had been awake for a while now, but she didn’t feel like getting up just yet. She sighed. She could hear the muffled sound of the guys talking in the living room, but she had a some thoughts to sort out before joining them... or at least that’s the excuse she came up with to justify the fact that she wanted to lay down for a while more without thinking about anything in particular. So she waited there, letting her thoughts flow freely.</p><p>Jungkook had left her room soon after he ended his business with her. Sori thought there was something different in him the previous night, but maybe she was wrong. They’d talked for a while before he leaned in and gently kissed her. He sort of apologized for the things he had said some days ago, too, which was really unlike Jungkook's usual behaviour. He wasn't really one to openly apologize, honestly. He was more the type of person who ignores whatever happened and starts behaving like nothing was ever wrong between him and the person he offended, hence he hadn’t really said the canonical “I’m sorry”, but Sori understood what he meant to say anyway. The way he blushed in embarrassment for a while made Sori think he looked more like a bunny than a mean wolf. He had cuddled up against her side and hugged her tightly while he talked about light things, and Sori happily to lend him her ears. At moments like that Sori thought that he had feelings for her, but then, every single time, she was proved wrong.</p><p>Jungkook liked to tell her little things about himself, and Sori could always remember them, despite the fact that Jungkook never seemed to do the same. Although lately Jungkook had made it an habit to spend the night in her room just to talk about Minyoung and all her qualities, the previous night he had utterly surprised Sori by not even mentioning Minyoung for the whole night for the first time in weeks. He hadn’t mentioned her for the whole night. Because of that Sori’s heart had swelled up with hope. It felt so good be spared from having to listen how perfect some girl was for the man she had been in love with for so long.</p><p>Out of nowhere he had started kissing her slowly and sweetly. Jungkook did that sometimes, whenever he felt particularly sentimental, and she always felt goose bumps like it was the first time they kissed . In the end they made love, if calling it that way was even proper. No, that wasn’t the exact name for what they did, but at times she felt like she could call it “love” since it felt so sweet and passionate. It always made her feel vulnerable and emotional when Jungkook whispered sweet nothings in her ear, and this time it was no different. They’re eyes met while he was moving above her and his eyes were full of emotions Sori couldn’t really read at the time. Despite all of that, the moment those emotions disappeared from his eyes was just too easy to identify for Sori's well trained eyes. In a matter of seconds his eyes were back to being cold and distant, and as soon as he was done he left her room, leaving her hanging.</p><p>Sori was still looking out of the window above her bed. The sun was high in the sky now. She felt confused: did he feel something for her or did she imagine his tender touches and whispers? Did she really imagine all the times he sweetly moaned her name and told her she was beautiful? Did that mean nothing to Jungkook?</p><p>Sori scoffed and threw the covers away. She looked at her phone and seeing it was already half past eleven, she decided to get up and take a shower. She proceeded to scrub herself the best she could, because there had been a couple of episodes in which Jungkook got mad at her for smelling like him the day after they had slept together. For that reason Sori was very meticulous, because she hated seeing Jungkook mad at her. She enveloped her small body in the big fluffy towel she had prepared right beside the shower and got dressed. While getting dressed she caught something weird in her reflection. Avoiding her own eyes, she observed the big purple spot on her neck. Jungkook had left a mark on her for the second time. That tiny detail was enough to make her feel euphoric.</p><p>
  <em>He feels something for me for real! Oh my God, he left it on purpose!</em>
</p><p>Her cheeks were now red and hot. Sori was shrieking in her mind, feeling a little bit silly for fangirling over something so common, albeit not for her. It was important to her, who had never been marked by another man. The man she loved marked her on purpose. No matter he left her like that, Jungkook had still marked her! Sori suddenly felt like singing and laughing!</p><p>She got dressed while singing under her breath and went downstairs. In the kitchen there was no one, but she knew they had heard her coming down. Sori didn’t really care if she had to eat alone, it was more comfortable for her actually, because no one would’ve known how much or what she ate. Not that they spent their time looking at what was in her plate, but she still felt like she shouldn’t eat much, especially when it came to some specific food, in front of them.</p><p>Since she had decide to go for a stroll to the library and to the nearby park afterwards, Sori only ate a sandwich to make it quick, thinking that if she got hungry later on she could stop in a cafe. She slowly ate everything, cleaned the table and washed the plate she had used still smiling sillily, lost in her own thoughts.</p><p>Knowing Namjoon didn’t like her going out alone, all the most when she didn’t tell him where she was going, she started looking for him. It seemed he had disappeared in thin air, because she really couldn’t find him anywhere. She went downstairs again and asked in a loud voice:</p><p>“Guys, did you see Namjoon?”. She waited, but no answer came. She waited some more, but still nothing was heard a part Hoseok’s loud laugh. She felt a small prick to her heart, but she ignored it. She didn’t want something so stupid to ruin her good mood, let alone that she knew they wouldn’t pay her any attention when they were playing with their stupid videogames. She walked closer to the living room without fully entering and asked again:</p><p>“Do you know where’s Namjoon? I’ve looked everywhere, but I can’t find him”. The three inside the room didn’t even look at her. “Ok, fine. If you see him, tell him I’m going out and I’ll be back in a couple of hours”. No reaction at all.</p><p>
  <em>Whatever.</em>
</p><p>Sori grabbed her purse and checked the money she still had in her wallet from the last time she had left the house, around a week and half ago. She liked staying at home or going to the lake nearby, and Namjoon hated it when she left the house for too long too, thus she never really went out that much. Jin once explained her that Namjoon was always worried for her when she went out alone, because she wasn’t strong enough to defend herself from a possible attack, and if no one was with her anything could happen. Not like it wouldn’t happen if she wasn’t alone, he reasoned, but still their alpha liked it better when she had someone with her. Sori didn’t really mind bringing someone with her once in a while, but she was a loner, so she didn’t really have much to do or friends to meet when she left the house. She mostly went to cafes or to the park with a book to read while she enjoyed the sun. Lately Sori had discovered an amazing library just a bit further than she usually went, which was the reason why she hadn’t mentioned it to anyone. She was afraid they would forbid her to go there or worse, they might want to go with her keep an eye on her. She liked the guys of the pack, but no one loved reading a part from Namjoon, and he was always busy, which meant she’d have to read while someone spoke to her, played with her hair or with her phone, or asked her every two minutes when they’d leave, because they were bored. Nope. That was only going to ruin her mood and waste her time.</p><p>Sori was thankful her alpha cared for her, but it was too much at times. She was told from day one that alphas have a tendency to be overprotective over weak members of the pack and especially with the females of their pack, but she never gave him a reason to worry in the past three years. It happened once or twice that she forgot her phone at home, when she had just joined the pack, and came back to find 30 or so calls from the alpha, but that was long time ago. Now she always checked her phone’s battery before going out, and made sure to have the volume turned to the maximum, so that she’d hear it as soon as it started ringing.</p><p>She took her clothes off, tightened the strap of her purse around her body and folded her clothes, so that they fit inside it. Once she was standing on the ground in front of the house she changed and ran as a wolf until she was close to the town. When the sounds of cars and city life got too near for comfort, Sori changed back to her human form and wore her clothes again.</p><p>Sori slowly walked towards her favourite cafe, which was quite close to where Jungkook worked, enjoying the timid rays of the sun and breathing some fresh air after having stayed coped up in her room for almost a week.</p><p>She was trying to restrain herself from going to eat at Jungkook’s workplace just to see his face again and see if this time he would act differently towards her than all the other times they had sex. It surely felt different for her since he had marked her, but she couldn't take for guaranteed that Jungkook would have felt the same way. After all it would also be convenient for her since the café she had planned to go to was on the same street as Jungkook’s workplace. Sori giggled softly on her own, nodding her head at the sound of the music that was blasting through her earphones.</p><p>Sori walked at the pace the music set and, as she got closer to Jungkook’s workplace she turned it down. Now that she was this close, Sori wasn’t all that sure this was a good idea. Actually she was pretty sure it was a shitty one. Her heart was pounding and her anxiety was taking over. She had been warned more than once by him not to enter his work place, as he didn’t want to see her there. He was quite exhaustive when he yelled her that she must never go there, actually. Sori didn’t really know why she was the only one in the pack who couldn’t go there, at least not if she was on her own, but she followed his order anyway. Not that she ever had the occasion to go alone before anyway. Sori was quite happy when she discovered her favourite cafe by chance and she was even happier when she learnt that Jungkook didn’t know she often sat in there, just across the street, to watch him work.</p><p>It was ironical for her to understand she wouldn’t find it in herself to go there knowing Jungkook could get angry, no matter how much she felt entitled after he had clearly marked her as his own. Actually, she didn’t even want to go in there after passing in front of the restaurant, in spite of her previous resolution. What if Jungkook noticed her and thought she was trying to spy on him?</p><p>Through the glass walls she could clearly see the girl smiling as Jungkook took a piece of paper she had handed him, before the two girls who where leaft the BBQ place. The both of them were taller than her, dressed fashionably and they were thin. No wonder he was smiling so brightly: they were exactly his type. Sori didn’t want to think about it, but she wasn’t dumb enough to think it was just the receipt. Unfortunately.</p><p>She stood there pretending to be talking on the phone and waited for the girls to exit. Then, she followed them for a while, trying to eavesdrop their conversation to confirm her suspects. She was close close enough to hear one of them say:</p><p>“He said he’d bring a friend tonight, so maybe you should ask him what his friend looks like, because if I don’t like him I’m not dolling up for nothing”, in a whiny voice.</p><p>“Yeah, we can do than, and maybe I’ll call him and ask him to bring more of his friends. That way we can bring some of the girls, so it won’t be a double date and you won’t have to put up with his friend for the whole night, but I sure as hell want to get in his pants tonight”. Sori stopped after hearing that. She could clearly hear the girls giggling between themselves and making dirty jokes, but she couldn’t understand them since her brain wasn’t working properly. “See, he texted me already!”, she grinned. “I have high hopes for tonights”, the girl giggled.</p><p>Sori wanted to mentally slap herself. She should have known that hickey meant nothing. She should have known right away. She shouldn’t have been dumb. She shouldn’t have given herself the possibility to put her hopes up, because now it hurt. Even thought she’d already suspected what that piece of paper was, it still hurt her. It hurt so bad Sori felt her breath faltering as she felt tears prickling in her eyes. As Sori could feel a violent shift coming, she started walking back, right throw the short cut for the pack house. She needed to change, but she couldn’t do it in the middle of the street. So now all she needed to do was breath deeply and pick up her pace to reach the first rows of trees as soon as she could.</p><p>
  <em>Dumb. You’re so fucking dumb, Sori. You deserve it.</em>
</p><p>At a certain point she took off running, because she was sure her control wouldn’t last enough for her to reach the woods if she didn’t quicken her pace. This was one of things she never loved about being a turned-werewolf: sudden and powerful emotions could cause violent shifts. She was particular subjected to them since she often felt very embarrassed or hurt because of the things she heard and saw around her, and she was even more affected by the things Jungkook did. Lately her control had improved, which made this sudden shift even more embarrassing and hateful. It was all because of her stupid hopes. Her stupid ideas. Her stupid feelings. She despised herself so much.</p><p>
  <em>I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. You the worst. You and your dumb ideas. Why would he ever want you?! Hasn’t he made himself clear enough times already? Fucking idiot. I hate you.</em>
</p><p>Nobody will ever know how much Sori hated herself at times. Nobody will ever understand how much she loved Jungkook and how much she wished her feelings disappeared every single day at the same time.</p><p>
  <em>Why can’t I stop? Why can’t I hate you? Why can I only hate myself? A disgusting turned-wolf, that’s what I am. His whore. That’s what I should remember when I think he can fall for me. Dumb. Useless. Ugly. Fat.</em>
</p><p>She repeated those words in her head until she reached the threes of the short cut. She fell on all fours right after, finally losing the control she had been holding to until that moment. A painful growl left her mouth when the gravel scratched her hands and knees as the shift took its time. It was one of the most painful changes Sori ever experienced. Usually a violent shift took her around three-four minutes for her instead of the usual couple of seconds, but now hours seemed to have passed as she was blocked there, bones breaking but fixing up again without letting her take her wolf form. At last, Sori felt her skin tore little by little, her bones break and fix themselves in different positions, her teeth elongating slowly and painfully. It was all because of Jungkook.</p><p>
  <em>No, you bitch, this is all because of you, because you can’t stop being his little bitch. Because you keep doing everything you can for him to notice you. Because you continuously delude yourself into thinking you're worthy of his attention. It’s all because of you.</em>
</p><p>Those words were resonating loudly in her head, and Sori could only whimper and cry, feeling empty and pathetic. The hot and salty tears left burning paths on her cheeks.</p><p>When she finally opened her eyes again, Sori looked down to see her hands had finally turned into paws. She could only wish for the rest of the change to speed up too. She was now swaying side to side, trying to ease the excruciating pain in her hips and shoulders caused by the slow change. Usually the changing was so fast that she barely felt any type of pain other than some tingly sensation, thus this was a new experience, way closer to the first time she changed. It took some more minutes, but finally Sori was on her wolf form and she could run to burn out some of her pain.</p><p>She ran at her full speed towards the lake, which was situated along the confines between BTS and EXO's lands. It was one of her favourite places in her pack’s lands. Or better, it was one of favourite places in general. During these past few years she’d built a very small hut there, and only Narae knew about it. It was tiny, but it was perfect for her: when it rained and she was there, she could simply go lay in her hut and wait for it to stop without having to go back home. It was also the place where she spent a lot of sad times, since she often ran there when Jungkook said mean things about her. It was her place. The only place she really felt hers. Not even her room was hers like this little hut was. She loved it.</p><p>Huffing through her nose, Sori stood in front of the water. It was only March and it was 2 p.m. already, so she wouldn’t have much time to dry herself before going back home, but the cold water was calling her despite the chances of catching a cold. The run had helped her to calm down a bit, still Sori upset. It wasn't the first time she felt disappointed, nor the first time she put her hopes up because of something Jungkook had done, nonetheless it was painful. Moreover, she knew she couldn’t go home now, otherwise she would have to see Jungkook, who was quite low on the list of people she wanted to meet at the moment. She didn’t want to face anyone to be honest, but out of everyone, he was the one he wanted to see the least.</p><p>One deep breath later Sori had jumped into the water and was swimming slowly, ruining the peaceful surface of the water. It was something she loved to do. In this place, in her place, she could play however she wanted, she could be silly and weird without having to worry about a thing, knowing that no one would’ve seen her nor judged her because no one knew about this place... or at least that’s what she believed since she’s never seen anyone checking on this border. Sori looked around to be sure there was no one was around for real, and then she started swimming from side to side of the river, trying to ease her mind in the cold water. She swam until she felt like she couldn’t breathe anymore and her muscles were burning. The freezing cold water hadn't bothered her as long as she had been swimming, but now that she was tired and she had to get out the stinging sensation in her paws was becoming a little too much. As soon as she was out of the water Sori shook her fur energetically, trying to get rid of the water in her fur to dry herself quicker. Her beige fur, now that it was dampened, looked darker than it actually was, she noted.</p><p>Sori generally liked the colour of her fur, because it was not a common colour. She remembered a book she was given to read soon after she was turned. Apparently every turned were was given this books and general information to let them adapt better to the change. It was easier to accept how their lives were never going back to be as they were before they were bitter by another wolf when they were given interesting information and if the positive aspect of the change were put under the spotlight. Anyway, the book stated that wolves that show particular signs, such as special talents or different fur colors than most wolves, they are special. This characteristics were meant to make them more noticeable, and they many of those who showed those signs had a mate. A mate. It was something Sori had dreamed about from the moment she learnt about them. Someone who’d accept her the way she was, someone who’d love her no matter what she was, no matter how imperfect she was. There was a time in which she was convinced Jungkook was her mate, because the love she felt for him was too extreme to be normal. Wasn't it a sign that she could forgive him no matter what he did? That’s why, after finishing the whole book, she had asked a lot of information about mates to Narae, since she was the alpha’s mate, hoping to get more evidence to prove her suppositions were right. However, Narae had mostly told her things she already knew, like the rarity of having a mate, how powerful and strong is the bond between mates is and how they can even physically mark each other if they want to, so that their bond could be even stronger. Moreover, when Sori asked her to describe how she felt for Namjoon, she couldn’t really answer. She just said:</p><p>“It not something I can describe with words. There is nothing I can compare to the feelings the mate bond creates, it... It's sort of a very deep feeling of love, but it’s not just that. It’s like that person is your best friend, your lover but also yourself. I can’t explain it, really. Namjoon is me, although we’re different and we were born in different centuries, so we have different view on some things, he’s the one I’d blindly trust with my life, with my future, with... well, with myself in general. Without him I can't see a future. I can’t even imagine to breathe and live in a world in which Namjoon doesn’t exist. I could live only for him if he asked me to, but I wouldn’t be able to survive a day if he left me. There are no words to describe what I have with him, Sori, I’m sorry, but I can’t explain it! It's lame, I know, but... you will know when your mate will be in front of you”.</p><p>Sori wanted to feel that special bond. She wanted someone who loved her like that. She wanted her mate. And she wanted to believe that person was Jungkook.</p><p>With this thought in her head, Sori asked to every single wolf in the pack if they’d ever heard of a turned-werewolf with a mate, but no one knew anything useful, so she went to the hospital to get a better explanation about mates and how to recognize them with the doctor who had follower her case and helped right after she was turned. He was surprised to see her there, and even more surprised when Sori shifted in front of him just to shift back seconds after. She excitedly asked the doctor if he had ever met another turned wolf with a fur like hers. Unfortunately, even the doctor didn't have a proper answer to her doubts, but he had looked at Sori a mix of amused and intrigue. The doctor told her that in the four centuries in which he’d been a doctor he’d only met 4-5 wolves with a fur similar to her's, and they were all born-werewolves, which was why he would have liked to help her and study her case more, albeit at the moment her had no answers to give her. With her stomach churning from the anticipation, Sori asked him if all of those wolves had a mate, and he answered positively, but then his expression was puzzled when he added:</p><p>“But as I said before, those were all born-werewolves. In my life, I have never met a turned-werewolf with a mate. I did read about them, but the cases are extremely rare, and so far I never researched more about this topic. It not in my intentions to upset you, but if I understood what you are asking me, I am afraid to have to disappoint you. If I remember correctly, you are now a member of BTS pack... do you not think it would be extremely hard to have two mated couples in the same pack? It is something almost unheard of, and in the pack in which there are more mates couples, usually the members are all very old wolves who joined the pack in different periods of time. It seems unrealistic to me that in this very short period of time you, a turned-werewolf, would have found your mate already, if you even have one. I do not mean this as offence in any way, but I personally think you should focus more on other positive aspects of being werewolves, because unfortunately this one almost never regards people of you kin. And, once again, I do not mean it in a derogatory way, believe me”. He ended his long discourse with a small and sad smile. Even then, Sori could only wish to be a normal werewolf. She had all the requisites to be a mated wolf, but being a turned-werewolf that possibility was off-limits for her.</p><p>If I were a born-werewolf, would Jungkook see me in a different light? Would he be my mate? Uhg, Jungkook, Jungkook, always Jungkook. I’m so tired of him.</p><p>Sori just laid down on the sunny patch of leaves that were still scattered on the ground. She forced herself not to think of anything. The mental tiredness she had felt lately was there again, and little by little it won her over.</p><p>When Sori woke up it was almost dark. Only then the thought of her purse and clothes crossed her mind. She’d left them in the short-cut.</p><p>
  <em>Oh shit. Namjoon must be going berserk. Bye bye life.</em>
</p><p>She took off towards where she left her clothes instead of going home right away, as Sori had a plan: she would check how many times he had called already, and if it was more than ten times, she would just text Narae she was sleeping out and then she’d spend the night in the hut. It would be a bit cold during the night, but since it was the end of March she could just sleep in her wolf form and put her thick fur to use. Or at least that’s what she hoped for.</p><p>Sori shifted as soon as her clothes could be seen, and with shaky hands she gripped her purse and opened it. Her phone was ringing, yet she didn’t have to check who it was, she already knew it was Namjoon. Scared she would accidentally answer, Sori didn’t grab it, opting for wanting until it stopped ringing. The voicenote left by Namjoon's on her voice mail told Sori all she needed to know: she was in deeeeep, deeeep shit. Not that she didn't expect it, though.</p><p>“Narae, your stupid friend isn’t picking up her phone. I’m going to kill her this time. I don’t care if she has a good reason. She’s gonna pay for this”, Namjoon’s growls could be heard loud and clear.</p><p>
  <em>Ahahah ahah ah. Ah. Ah. Shit. I did all this shit and maybe Jungkook won't even care about those girls. Oh, shit. How do I explain this? Shit.</em>
</p><p>She facepalmed and sighed again. When the lights of her phone switched off, she took it in her hands and unlocked it. It was a bit past ten already…not surprising since she’d woke up to seen the reflection of the moon on the surface of the lake. 24 calls from Namjoon were notified. 15 texts from Namjoon as well.</p><p>
  <em>Nope, not going home tonight.</em>
</p><p>Sori listed out all the possible excuses she could think of to justify her absence, but then again it’d be useless, because she could be able to lie and be believable now that she only had to write down a couple of lies, but when they’ll directly ask her about her where she was, Sori wouldn’t be able to lie. Or she would just forget later on what she had lied about. She totally sucked at lying. Not surprisingly, Sori decided to opt for the easiest option: not justify at all her actions. She simply informed Narae she would stay out for the night, then she sighed again, regretting her decision already. Not only was Namjoon was going to murder her, she had no doubt about it, but she would also have to find a way to spend her time until tomorrow morning. And waste all that time worrying about Namjoon yelling at her, too. But really, how could she sleep that long without waking up? She sighed yet again. Just how dumb could she be?</p><p>Sori stopped writing the text to Narae when she heard a car nearing the place where she was standing completely naked. It was biting cold out there, but since she didn’t have the time to get dressed before the car would have passed her by, Sori ran a little to be able to have a better view while also being covered by the bushes. What she saw didn’t help her mood at all: Jungkook, Jimin and Taehyung were going out together, and by what Sori could see, they were wearing nice clothes and their hair was styled up. The usual night out for them.</p><p>
  <em>It’s ok, Sori. You don’t even know where they’re going, you’re just supposing things because Jungkook is a bit of a manwhore, but still you have no evidence they were the guys those girls were talking about. And if they were...well, the two of you are not together. No matter what you think or feel. That hickey meant nothing. You know you’ll never mean anything to him. Stop being dramatic.</em>
</p><p>Sori stood there for a while, lost in her thoughts. Only when she her phone started ringing again Sori remembered she hadn't sent Narae the text she had thought of. Actually, she realized she was shivering from the cold as her hands were shaking so bad she was having a hard time completing the text. It took her a minute or so, but Sori finally managed to sent the text before wearing her clothes again. How she wished she was like one of those lycans from the movies that was never affected by the weather.</p><p>Sori slowly made headed back to the bushes, her mind was focused on Jungkook again. She had hours to fill until morning and it was getting really cold, but if she ran she’d get to the hut soon and then she’d only have to wait there for hours doing nothing. Moreover, she doubted she could fall asleep again after having slept the afternoon away.</p><p>Sighing, Sori decided she couldn't just postpone facing Namjoon... it would be to no use, and it would also be just a waste of time, because she would just spend her time thinking about what Namjoon could possibly tell her, or whatever, thus she slowly and very silently walked around the pack house, but she stayed hidden in the woods to spare herself from the alpha’s rage for a while more. She was trying to understand if there was someone near the door, or better trying to see if Namjoon was there. The alpha’s rage was never something she wanted to experience, because his outbursts could be very explosive (albeit he always apologized if he went too far), so maybe if she was quiet enough, paid attention and didn’t made herself visible, she’d be able to live another night and face death the following morning.</p><p>Right then Sori had another idea: she could wait for the guys to come back home and see if they’d brought the girls from that morning with them. If they were alone, she could let them see her and they'll let her in without having to face Namjoon or try to sneak in. She simply had to wait somewhere where she couldn’t be seen from the alpha, but near enough to the house that she wouldn't miss the guys if they were to come back. She was half tempted to change back to her wolf form to keep herself a little bit warmer, however she couldn't be bothered to undress again just to change back in a couple of hours.</p><p>No matter how much the girl waited before checking how much time had passed, it was always only a couple of minutes. She was shivering like a leaf in the wind, yet she was too stubborn to just stop then and go inside the house to take a warm shower. Actually she was starting to get worried she’d enrage Jin too at this point. Namjoon would yell at her for being stupid and disappearing, Jin would be mad because she was sick and there was a quite big possibility of Jungkook being there to had fuel to the fire. Not good.</p><p>Sori waited more, sitting on a rock behind an old oak, blowing her warm breath on her hands, trying to warm them up just to have something to spend her time on. It was no surprise that she felt that agitated, really, she already knew it would end up like that if her suspicions about Jungkook would have turned out right. Once again, Sori checked her phone only to discover it was half past one in the morning and her battery was close to death. Around midnight Namjoon had stopped calling and sending her texts. It felt as if he was even angrier than the previous times, though Sori didn’t really care about his reasons for it nor why he was that angry. She only hoped he’d yell until the vocal cords broke and everything went back to normal without having to be force to explain herself or have to tell anyone about the reasons behind her behaviour. Despite that, at the moment she was more worried about angering Jin too, in fact she could already feel her nose getting stuffy. Not good. Not good. Jin was scarier that Namjoon when he got angry. All the alarm bells in her head were going off, but still she didn’t gave up.</p><p>A while later Sori was leaning towards the idea of going to sleep inside if Jungkook didn’t come back soon or if he came back without girls, because she couldn’t feel her feet anymore and she was scared that if she passed more time in that freezing cold she lose a toe. After all, even if came home with one girl there wasn’t much she could do to help her situation. He probably wouldn't even notice she wasn't there. Sori wasn't going to lie to herself about that.</p><p>Sori kept opening and closing her fists, because her hands were so cold they hurt. She kept wondering how much time she would have to wait until it was morning and she could go back to her room and have a shower... So much for being a not-too-cold-March-night.</p><p>The moment Sori heard a car she stood up. It was still far from the house, but she wanted to see who was in the car. Her legs were really steady after spending 3-4 hours sitting on a cold rock, and her hips hurt, so she started jumping on the spot and doing some stretching, murmuring about how she wished she had worn thicker clothes in the morning.</p><p>Her heart sped up as the car got closer and its front could be seen through the death branches behind which she was hiding. Time to check if her suppositions were right.</p><p>
  <em>Please, don’t disappoint me. Please, don’t do this to me. Please, that hickey must have meant something for you too. Please, Jungkook, don’t have a girl with you for the night. Please, please, please.</em>
</p><p>The car doors open and Sori felt her heart in her throat. How much could it hurt her if she war right?</p><p>
  <em>“Please, please, please, Kookie!”, she was murmuring. Begging silently to be wrong for once about him.</em>
</p><p>Jungkook and Jimin could already be seen. Her heart sank a bit in her chest as she saw him walk towards the other door to open it. A very uncommon gesture for Jungkook.</p><p>
  <em>Please, just let it Taehyung. Maybe he’s so drunk he can’t stand up on his own. Please, don’t be a girl. Please don’t be a girl.</em>
</p><p>Sori’s hopes were crushed down a moment later, when she heard a loud and girlish giggle. A tall, thin and almost naked girl go out of the car. With her there were two other girls and Taehyung. Sori’s attention was focused only on the first girl though, because she had already seen her in the morning. She felt her heart crumbing down.</p><p>
  <em>I should’ve never waited for him to come back. Doubting him was bad enough, but having the confirmation you’re worth nothing for him is way worse.</em>
</p><p>She saw the girl gripping tightly Jungkook’s arm while waiting for Jimin to open the door. She heard Taehyung whisper:</p><p>“You guys have to be quite unless you want Sori to wake up”, while chuckling. Jungkook scoffed and said a bit louder:</p><p>“And why would I care about waking her up? She’s not my mom, I don’t have to justify what I do”. Jimin sent him a weird look and closed the door behind him. Not that Sori needed to see or hear more, anyway.</p><p>Sori stood there for a while more, then she changed back in her wolf form and ran back to her hut near the lake.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Ooops, I said I would update on AFF first, but... well, here is the new chapter!<br/>I hope you'll enjoy it :)</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I previously posted this on AFF, however I'm correcting the chapters and posting them here too because I decided to close that account!<br/>I hope you'll enjoy this fic :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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